. . . every time Maddog and wif visit Italy, Maddog has to dope slap about a dozen "handy" Italian men for grappling her bum. Now admittedly, she has one of the world's great bums, but still, it is not a public bum available for grappling.
There is nothing like a good solid dope slap, which drops the miscreant to his knees, however! It usually goes something like this. Italian dude sees Maddogswif, and angles over to intercept immediately behind, matches step, then grabs quickly turns, and is face-to-face with Maddog. He stops, does a little sheepish grin, with head bob. Then Maddog dope slaps him just behind the ear. He does not expect this at all. He nearly always goes down hard. I catch up with Maddogswif, and re-arm the dope slap "device." A few seconds later I look back to see the now woozy Italian weaving off down the street. There is always a near endless stream of these boorish idiots. How good a bum you ask, well back when I was a more regular Starbucks customer, there was a group of people I would sit near, while I knew them, I would not call them friends, and probably not even acquaintances. One of the men, would "Donald Trump" the more attractive women. He would commonly go on about Maddogswif about how he would really like to run his hands up and down her thighs, and bum, and well, other places. I had no idea if he knew she was my wife. Finally, after many months of this I finally piped up, and told him that she was in another league, and that he was not emotionally equipped to handle her. He spouted something along the lines of how would I know, so I said, pointed out his insecurities, his pervy, stalker voyerism, and the fact that she was my wife. Then I ask if his wife would be in that day. He blew up, threatened me a bit, then blew out of the store after I laughed at his tantrum. He still won't talk with me after that. Job accomplished.
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