This question is surprisingly durable even though an 8th grade boy can tell you want both want pretty accurately. The rub is that feminists have made a serious attempt to shift what men want to include what women want, but men do not want what women want.
To cut to the chase, both want a fairly wide variety of things, but men primarily want youth, and beauty. And pretty much every woman understands this, and we know that because of how much effort women put into the youth/beauty component. On the other hand women primarily want a man with sufficient resources, or ability to obtain resources (status, income potential, power, even criminality). Women mostly get a free chit since their youth/beauty element is natural, and occurs when they are young. They do not need to do much work to maximize this element. But, by the time they are 30 it begins to wane, youth is fleeting after all, and beauty while it can be maintained, youth cannot. Men, on the other hand, get no free chit (except for a tiny number with oodles of family money, and a trust fund). Men do not start with resources, or status, or power, or income potential). Because of this women initially grade men on physical attractiveness, but this quickly falters, as men begin to build the necessary status, power, income, wealth, and resources to actually attract women. These two separate dynamics mean women start high and lose sexual value over time. Men start low and gain sexual value over time. Women like Lena Dunham, who do not start with much do not have far to fall, but feel cheated. Hey, it was a free chit to begin with so how could you be cheated? Instead they want the male prerogative to work to build the sexual value by doing something. Interestingly, a few men who will never be able to possess the status, power, income, wealth or resources to attract a young/beautiful woman will also try to look attractive to attract a woman. These tactics do not work for the most part. Both are likely to be frustrated and angry. Feminist women who are less attractive have the ability to have rewarding successful relationships with men, they must simply accept that they cannot vie for the men most attractive to women, they must find a man who is approximately as attractive to women as they are attractive to men. For Lena, this means a low wage man, with few resource prospects. Exactly the man she is unwilling to date. Ensuring her single status forever. Some sage reading: What Women Want--What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently by John Marshall Townsend
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