​Vladimir Putin, staring in the smash new hit, "The Pip that Squeaked!"

Putin Vows Retaliation Over US Missile Shield; Warns Poland, Romania Now In The "Cross Hairs"

"Recall that on May 12, in a dramatic development for the global nuclear balance of power, the United States launched its European missile defense system dubbed Aegis Ashore at a remote airbase in the town of Deveselu, Romania, almost a decade after Washington proposed protecting NATO from Iranian rockets and despite repeated Russian warnings that the West is threatening the peace in central Europe."

Squeak, squeak. Sorry pip, you will need to squeak up!

​More after the break!

the precarious nuclear balance of power in Europe has suddenly shifted, and quite dramatically: despite U.S. assurances, the Kremlin says the missile shield's real aim is to neutralize Moscow's nuclear arsenal long enough for the United States to make a first strike on Russia in the event of war."

And sure enough, making it very clear that this biggest yet provocation by the US and NATO is not forgotten, during a joint press conference with Tsipras in Greece, Putin warned Romania and Poland they could find themselves in the sights of Russian rockets because they are hosting elements of a U.S. missile shield that Moscow considers a threat to its security."

What's with all the annoying squeaking?

"'If yesterday in those areas of Romania people simply did not know what it means to be in the cross-hairs, then today we will be forced to carry out certain measures to ensure our security," Putin told a joint news conference in Athens with Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras. "It will be the same case with Poland," he said."

I am sure they are terrified Vlad. Russia's ability to project power is anemic to say the least. Russia's only real threat is missiles. Which are now neutralized. 

Vlad changes tactics, and goes full Trump: "'We have the capability to respond. The whole world saw what our medium-range sea-based missiles are capable of [in Syria]. But we violate no agreements. And our ground-based Iskander missiles have also proven themselves as superb,” continued Putin."

We are sure you have beautiful tax returns too, Vlad, and long fingers. Sheesh, how insecure can a tyrant be?

"He voiced frustration that Russia's complaints about the missile shield had not been heeded. "We've been repeating like a mantra that we will be forced to respond... Nobody wants to hear us. Nobody wants to conduct negotiations with us.'"

Hahahahahahahahaha. Poor Vladie, no one will even talk to him anymore. Buddy, we've seen toddlers do this better. Snap out of it and get a grip. If you are going to throw a tantrum, you need to hit the floor, kick and scream. This pip behind the podium BS is not cutting it!

"And since nobody will negotiate with Russia, the Kremlin will have to take offensive measures into its own hands: we already know what the first one will be. Recall what then-president Dmitiry Medvedev said in November 2008: "Russia will deploy Iskander missile systems in its enclave in Kaliningrad to neutralize, if necessary, the anti-ballistic missile system in Europe."

Once Russian SS-26 tactical missile systems are again to be found on the borders of a Europe which suddenly as facing not only a a nuclear-armed opponent on its borders, but an ongoing - and in many cases malicious - immigrant influx within, then all bets about the peaceful future of the European continent, the main stated reason behind the creation of the EU and the Eurozone, will once again be off.

But not before NATO and the Pentagon respond in symmetric fashion and deploy more nuclear weapons of their own to Europe's eastern borders, and aim them squarely at Moscow, as the precarious post-cold war game theoretical equilibrium is completely destroyed. At that moment the new nuclear arms race will have fully returned."

President Obama may once again have accidentally done the right thing! As you may remember the last time Russia, er, the USSR, came a cropper, it was because of two things happing. First, the USSR began an arms race against Reagan's "Star Wars" program. Second, oil prices were continuing an epic price decline. Near the end of the 1980s, it became clear to the power brokers in the USSR that Soviet industries were producing things using raw material, capital, and labor, which were less valuable than the raw material inputs. The whole thing imploded shortly thereafter.

How long Vladie Poot before your arms race, and dodgy oil prices drop Russia like a sack of potatoes? 

All this pip squeaking is detracting from the truth that Vladie Poot is a defanged bear.

Vlad, is there any way you could enlist the help of China in this endeavor? We here at the Lair would love for China, with its pending hard economic landing, to come a cropper as well.

A dog can dream!