Woman goes on romantic trip to Paris to marry HERSELF
How much would shelve to hate herself to need to change her name, and marry herself?
"A 42-year-old American woman has revealed she spent up to $7,000 (£5,000) on a trip to Paris - so she could marry herself.
Beautiful Existence - who changed her name from Desiree Longabaugh - from Seattle, splashed the cash on a romantic ceremony under the Eiffel Tower, flights to France, accommodation for a week, and a birthday celebration while there."
I once had a litigation where the plaintiff had changed her name to Ellen Earth. She was. What a whackjob!
"Now the mother-of-two is encouraging others to marry themselves ahead of her first anniversary in June 2016.
'It was hugely emotional,' Ms Existence said. 'Looking at myself on that screen as I Skyped the officiant, saying exactly what I wanted to say to myself was soul-shifting."
Talk about revealing a lot about one's self! I wonder how many mirrors she wears out each year?
"Ms Existence was previously married for ten years and has two sons - Edge, 16 and Epic, six. During that time, friends would confide in her that they thought she had lost her spark.
They told her she 'wasn't herself' when she was married, and questioned what had happened to the independent, optimistic woman they knew. A painful divorce then left her wondering if traditional marriage was for her."
This story would have been infinitely better if the "reporter" had taken the time to track-down and interview the exes. That would have been a rollicking good time!
"She was further discouraged when she met a new partner and they decided to cohabit but not marry, only to find he wasn't right for her either.
She discovered self-marriage on social media and spoke to other women who had done it.
'After years of exploring different theories on how to understand myself, self-marriage felt right,' she said.
'Why couldn't I have a fun, fantastic ceremony the way that I wanted it to be without somebody else's approval?
* * *
Within a month of finding out that self-marriage was an option, Ms Existence decided to have a ceremony herself."
It took an entire month? That actually surprised me!
"She explained: 'The highest measurement of success society pretty much has is whether or not you're in a couple, but it shouldn't be that way."
Sure self-indulgent wankers should be measured as well. Sadly, I think she will find that marrying herself will be just as unfulfilling as living with herself before she married herself. I am not sure how dropping $7,000 on a Paris trip made her a better person.
"Currently, self-marriage is not legally recognised. However, Ms Existence believes that this won't always be the case."
Oh, I am sure there is a lawyer out there somewhere willing to take your money to "make it legal, " and to "fight for your rights." How can someone be this stupid and still remember to breath once in a while?
"'It's not like I'm going to get a marriage certificate. Nobody recognizes it right now, unfortunately, but I do think that's something that will be on the horizon,' she said."
Yeah, I get your point, today they would just laugh at your inane stupidity.
"'There are a lot of people - women especially - who are not subscribing to the regular definition of marriage anymore.'
Since announcing her marriage, Ms Existence said people's reactions have been positive, save for a few who don't really understand the concept."
There are two kinds of people in the world, the those who laugh in her face, and those who pat her on the head and act like they understand level 11 narcissism.
"'My six-year-old is too young to be anything but supportive. I talked things through with my eldest, but he's used to the fact that his mum doesn't subscribe to normal life protocol.
'I mean, I have a Mohawk. My name is Beautiful Existence."
Strike 2 . . . strike 3 . . . yer, outathere!
I thought she was done, but no, there's more!
"Now, she is looking ahead to her first anniversary, when she plans to get a tattoo on her ring finger to celebrate."
The gift that keeps on giving. I wonder if after reading this her exes would like her back? No, I don't think so either!
"Currently, she occasionally wears a ring but would prefer something more permanent."
I think a piercing would be nice, perhaps a 16d nail through the forehead, proving to all there is nothing to damage inside her vacuous cranium! Although she might want to go with a 30d to really hammer home the point!
She is from Seattle, what can I say?