7 facts about relationships that everybody should know before getting married
Ok, but really not too surprising. The real key is to decide that you will do the vast majority of the work necessary to make the marriage work. Period.
More after the break.
If both have this or a similar attitude the marriage will work. If both expect the other to pull their own weight or some other equality platform, the marriage is in great jeopardy. Ultimately, the problem is that we are fully formed adults when we marry, and we have already formed ideas on what is important. Unfortunately what is important to one is not necessarily important to the other. The result is that marriage frequently requires both partners to perform the majority of the work which they view as important in the marriage. If both of you are perceiving that you are doing 65% of the work, it is easy to see how frustration, and anger could build.
The reality, however, is we are only doing 65% of the work we feel is important.
The second important thing to do is to treat your marriage like it is an arranged marriage, and there is no outlet/divorce. Those in arranged marriages find love, and successful marriage because there are few alternatives. With the divorce option off the table, it is either find a way to love the partner, or be perennially unhappy. Love, and fulfillment is a better outcome, and it can be created. And those in arranged marriages most commonly do create that outcome.
I commonly see studies that indicate that people who live together first are far more likely to separate, or divorce. This is because they entered the relationship as if it were a trial, not a marriage which they were bound to by cultural, and social compacts. This "trial marriage" concept must be driven from the brain or the marriage will surely fail. Marriage is difficult sabotaging it in the beginning is a fatal idea.
I have only been married 27 years, and I dated Maddogswif for 6 years before marriage, so there are many with much more experience.