Ontario man and his African Grey brawl, cops are called, it's a crime wave I tell ya . . .

Ontario police break up ‘domestic’ squabble between man and pet parrot

. . . I'm pretty sure I know who won, the African Grey is very smart. and the human was likely very drunk!

"BRIGHTON, Ont. – An Ontario man ran afoul of provincial police this week after spending a night at home with his pet parrot.

Police in Brighton, between Toronto and Kingston, said they were originally called to a home at 8 p.m. on Tuesday after neighbours heard what they believed to be a domestic dispute.

Northumberland OPP Const. Steve Bates said the neighbours knew the home was usually occupied by a couple, but police found only one person when they arrived.

“They heard him yelling and saying, ‘I hope you die,” and so on and so forth,” Bates said. “So we attended and we located the male of the household alone in the house screaming at his pet parrot who apparently was ‘beaking off’ at him, in his words.”

The man had been drinking, Bates said, adding that the parrot did not appear to be hurt in any way.

Police did not lay any charges.

Bates described the call as a “very interesting” one for attending officers, adding such incidents sometimes create a welcome diversion.

“These are the kinds of stories that police run into all the time,” he said. “It just adds some levity to the job.'"

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe! Man gets drunk, has domestic row with wife, er, parrot, police are called when the man starts yelling about hoping the "spouse" dies, police leave in stitches, man becomes an internet sensation!

After 36 years of marriage, I have learned a few things. Hold on, the wife was looking over my shoulder . . . she says we've only been married 26 years . . .  my witticism that it sure felt like 36 was lost on lovely wife, and I am now sleeping with the dog for a week. Crap, I hope the flea bath worked.

Anyway . . . 26 years of marriage, and in that time I learned that one must carefully pick ones fights. There are always consequences, and any fight must be for the very best reasons. 

I have no advice for a man fighting with his parrot wife. Even less for a man losing a fight to his parrot wife!?