​Maddogsdatir's math teacher and I have been corresponding . . .

. . . leaving datir in a state of apoplexy.

Here is the teachers initial email, and my our follow up correspondence (name redacted):

​More below.

"Dear Families,
I am excited to begin a new year of mathematical learning with you! I tend to send out a weekly message describing what is happening in class, as well as some upcoming assessments and events. My hope is to move these messages to my class website, so that all of the information is in a central location. More on that during back to school night :-).
This week is short, but we are jumping right into it! Students will begin the course working through a problem meant to engage a different part of their math brains. They’ll learn about the structure of my class, the participation expectations, flow of the class period, etc… we’ll accomplish this through our work during the week.
AGS1 students are being introduced to the curriculum, beginning work on pattern recognition and developing mathematical thinking and justification.
Pre-Calculus and SL students will be working with sequences and series to investigate and understanding growth and decay patterns deeper than just knowing the rule. We’ll also use this unit to formalize mathematical justification, leading to proof of the general case.
I realize that this is a stressful time of year, and there are is a lot of information coming at you. If you need clarification, or would like to discuss any aspect of the class or structures in more detail, I welcome you to email me, call me, or schedule a face to face meeting.
Happy first week,

Signed Teacher"

I had to respond:

"Mr. Teacher,

Oh God, I hope the learning will not need include me! My daughter, yes, but me, oh God no!

I became a lawyer, and ultimately a litigator practicing in various medical related litigation fields BECAUSE math was not required. I would just slow the class, with my inane questions, long elocutions, and Hobbesian analytical reasoning. 

Now retired, even my wife finds my style rigid, pedantic, rigid, argumentative, rigid, inane, or breathless she can't seem to determine which. Ok, rigid.

I might be available for a long petulant, haranguing rant if the class were to ever behave badly, I can wax longer then they can listen, and I have the entire law school Socratic Method of teaching down pat, just like a well rehearsed drama. I could stand at the head of the class haranguing, and firing off interrogatories like a roady with a Tee Shirt Canon. So, if the little urchins ever give you even the mildest pause, please feel free to call on me! I would be honored to provide an hour and a half of nonsense, flapdoodle, and rapid fire Socratic questioning packaged as wisdom. 

Hey, I went to college, I took a few Sociology classes, and law, and more law, and even more law, egads that took forever!

On a more reasonable note, it is nice to meet you. I look forward to the formal introduction, and a good old fashioned knuckle rapping for my temerity here, on Parent/Teacher Day, or whatever it is called in the 21st century. 

Good luck.

Mark Sherman

PS - tell Maddogsdatir I wrote. 

MDS

My missives tend to get responses, as did this one:

"Dear Mark,
I'll keep you in mind if I ever need some classroom relief .
I do have to be honest, I had to look up some of the words that were in your message, as I hadn't come into contact with them before (or hadn't remembered). I see you are a wordsmith.
Temerity was my favorite, I'll have to add that to my usable vocabulary.
I also look forward to meeting you during back to school night.
Best,

Teacher
Mathematics Instructor
[Wonderful School of Learning]"

Knowing he would write each week, I had to have the last word, so I offered a final reply:

"I read a book when I was younger, it stuck with me. I think the title was Merriam-Webster, or something like that, not much of a plot, however.

Look forward to meeting you.

Mark"

The start of the school year is the best time of year. The house gets quiet again, the wife tends to increase her travel days to 4 or more days per week, it's just me, the dog, and the rabbit, oh, and 60,000 bees! Relaxing!

Poleaxing Maddogsdatir is fun beyond belief, and Mr. Teacher told her we were corresponding, so she went into a paroxysm of embarrassment! I am having more fun then a pig in shyte!

I hope your back to school is every bit as fun.