how to fail at parenting

For Freshmen, Campus Life Poses New Risks

This is supposed to be good advice for parents dropping off kids at college. If the kid needs this advice, he's screwed.

More below.

The drug and sex stuff needs to be discussed before a child is an adult, and headed off to college. I came of age at 14, so I made sure my kids knew what they needed before they were 14. The whole ball of wax, what it means to be a man/woman, love, sex, appropriate relations, consequences, dangers, and benefits. 

We also never mystified alcohol, its positives, or negatives. We discussed college, college drinking and the problems. We had an additional benefit of one of the neighbor boys being arrested in a far distant state while in college for underage drinking. Mine were still young, and it gave me yet another opportunity to teach, and to understand their questions. 

As for roommates and problems, children need to understand why and how to vet friends, and why parents like or do not like some of the child's choices. Nothing like frank honesty to help them understand the problems. Toss in a couple of watchings of the television show The First 48, and they pretty quickly understand that not all "friends" are friends, and choosing quality friends is important. 

This goes double when teaching that friends who use drugs are seldom friends, and more often users of friendship. Again, The First 48. It is an ugly show about an ugly part of human nature, but nothing is quite as good a teacher, as reality laid bare.

Left unsaid, the child should be able to cook meals, take care of cleaning, and washing cloths, and should be essentially ready to leave the home as an adult by the time they hit 16. The idea that you will have some quality teaching experience with them after that point is silly. My children worked too much, and studied too much for me to have unfettered teaching time. Before they were 16 I had plenty. 

My base understanding of child rearing is that the parent has an ability to teach the child up till 15 - 16, and after that he only has the ability to occasionally do a little final polishing of the gem he has created. Or turd, depending on the parenting. I expect it takes a lot of polish to polish a turd!

And what of banking, money, investing, work, and all of its demands and requirements? Or any of the other life skills necessary to be ready for college?

This demystifies why so many young adults in college are in so far over their heads, failed parenting.