Psychology says you need to achieve these 3 goals to become an adult
While I usually find "psychology" so much piffle, this is actually useful. The three things are 1. taking responsibility for yourself, 2. making independent decisions, and 3. financial independence. These are important, and they do signal the difference between childhood, and adulthood. It also points out an interesting conundrum in family styles around the world. There are two essential family styles: the atomized nuclear family, and the hierarchal family. The ANF occurs when a couple separates from their parents, and extended family, and becomes essentially independent, and must rely on themselves alone for their support. The HF is a more bureaucratic structure with, most commonly, the oldest adult male in the extended family controlling the lives, work, and living arrangements of all the family under his control. He is the responsible party, and the rest of the family has only a limited responsibility to do as they are told. The ANF results in a dynamic economy since each couple is essentially forced to seek out and achieve their own prosperity. There is only a limited family safety net. The downside is this arrangement is stressful. Ask any one who has emigrated from a country using the HF style what was most different, here in America, and it will likely be this. So, young people in places like Italy where the HF style was prevalent live for a very long time under their parents protection. In America, they live far shorter time under their parents protection. One thing to remember, no matter whether it comes from the HF style, socialism, fascism, progressivism, or government programs, the safety net slows the economy, and dims prosperity. The economy becomes less vibrant, and wealth formation slows. On the other hand, the use of the ANF style creates a much more vibrant economy, with limited or no safety net, but high prosperity, and wealth formation. The people of each nation much choose this, these family styles are not compatible, as they require different social structures, and understandings. There are many books which point out these differences, but one which I remember vividly is Bella Tuscany: The Sweet Life in Italy by Frances Mayes. Americans frequently do not understand the necessity of having myriad connections in places like Italy. But without these connections, nearly everything takes an inordinate amount of time. Do you want to be independent, free, and wealthy, but fully responsible for your position, or do you want to be safe, protected, but limited, and far poorer? Choose wisely.
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