My first correspondence with "the Boy," now that he is at Marine Corps Boot Camp:
The actual letter (ok, with light editing)! If you have not received an email with his address and you wish to write him, email me and I will provide the full address.
San Diego, California 92140
I received your note, and letters from Staff Sergeant, Joseph Galvan, and Captain C. R. Bolton dated 15 April 2016.
News from the home front. Maddogsdog had fleas. We DDT bombed the crap out of them. It is a flea killing fields. He misses you and still sleeps downstairs. The rabbit is well, running free in the house most days. Maddogsdatir5.faux says hi. I suspect that due to an incomprehensible BS School District policy she will not be able to remain with us during the fall semester, and she may have to go home. Bureaucracy is latin for “the stupidest way of doing anything.” Sissy is still a sociopath. Go figure. Mom is traveling, I will give her your address and the letters from your command. I expect that means she will write. I give you a 60/40 chance she does not write a letter to command which triggers a “pizza party.” The means you have a 40% chance of a “pizza party.” Good luck with that one. Weather here is turning nice. I expect weather there is always nice.
Use sunscreen. Brush your teeth. When you come home you will need to show me how to make a bed. Sweep carefully, dirt is bad. Comb you hair every day, sorry, never mind. Don’t forget to wake up early, always good to get an early start to the day. Try curling your little finger when you salute and see if any of your noncoms were Boy Scouts! Say Shazam often.
Here at Stately Maddog Manor I am very proud of you. I expect you are probably both physically and mentally exhausted. Keep your eye on the prize. You have it in you to become a fine Marine. Work hard, always give everything your best effort, dedicate yourself to becoming the best Marine you can, and you will look back on this as a difficult but positive experience. Make sure you do whatever you can to help the other recruits around you succeed. This is a group grope, and you are a member of a nascent team. Once you make it you will be part of a select few, a team of very special men, er, people.
I will track your progress from the comfort of my easy chair, eating bonbons, and drinking fine cognac. You should try it sometime soon. You must have a free weekend now and again, no? I amuse myself.
Remember, if you get an extra helping of work, or duty, it is because your drill instructors see in you the ability to go beyond, to be something more. Their goal is to create, in each one of the recruits, the very best Marine they possibly can. I will write asking that Sergeant Joseph Galvan pay you special attention, since I believe you will go far in the Marines. I will have your mother do the same! I am sure that will work wonders.
Nurse your voice back to health, focus on the goal at hand each day, excel, support the other recruits, respect your officers, and the noncommissioned officers in the command, and become something special.
Your corn nuts eating, cognac swilling,