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Heat Street’s Guide to Cocktails Featuring the New Hillary Clinton-Themed Rye Whiskey
. . . hilarity, and hijinx ensue. Enjoy! TSA worker fired after missing loaded gun in bag at airport
What should amaze us, is they find anything at all. April Fools' Day: The best spoofs and pranks, in pictures
Two simple pranks which you still have time to do: 1. Unscrew the handle on the refrigerator door, and place it on the other side of the machine. They are all designed to open from either side, but if you don't move the hinges, it is very difficult to open the door when the handle is on the hinge side. Watching the kids get frustrated each time they try to open the fridge door is priceless (wife is even more fun, don't tell her I said that). 2. Rubber band down the handle on the sink sprayer, and make sure it is pointed in the appropriate direction. When someone turns on the water it will automatically spray them. Better on kids than wife, unless you are already getting to much somepin' somepin'. 'Divorced, age 29, with £70k to start afresh. How should I invest?'
You might want to take a look at the Charles Schwab equity index funds: Equity Index Funds: Schwab Brokerage: Index Funds Because the S&P 500 Index, and the Total Stock Market Index both have incredibly low Operating Expense Ratios of 0.03% I would place the bulk of my investment in one, the other, or split between them (note the Total Stock Market fund is weighted so it will look and behave quite similar to the S&P 500 but somewhat differently). Frankly, as a 29 year old, I would put 70% of my money in the Total Stock Market Index, and 30% in the Schwab International Fund. I would sock away at least 15-20% of income, including my full 401(k) investment. I would invest the 401(k) similarly. Every few years take a look to check on the total investment mix, and reallocate deposits to bring it back to 70/30. Otherwise the only change I would make is to drop 100% of all bonuses and 50% of all raises (after taxes) into these investments. With 41 years to retirement, 7% annual ROI, $85,000 initial investment, and $10,000 per year additional investment, you should have about $3,658,249 for retirement. If you bank bonuses, and a portion of your wage increases this will only be larger. While I do not advocate living like a monk, living within your means, and seriously saving for retirement will make life less stressful, and your future much more secure. It is most important to do this early, due to the time value of compound interest/money. Reflections on Mark Steyn’s ‘A Disgrace to the Profession’ about Dr. Michael Mann
Excellent, just excellent, you really need to read this article. TV voice artist Nancy Cartwright responds as Bart to unaware teen
I enjoyed it when she wondered who was more excited she or he. If you can go through life touching people like this every day, you will have a fulfilled, purposeful life. What more is there? Fresh Prince's Janet Hubert jabs at cast reunion photo and ex-co-star
Oh, in case you missed it the lack of invite indicates they feel the same way. The Fox & the Grapes A Fox one day spied a beautiful bunch of ripe grapes hanging from a vine trained along the branches of a tree. The grapes seemed ready to burst with juice, and the Fox's mouth watered as he gazed longingly at them. The bunch hung from a high branch, and the Fox had to jump for it. The first time he jumped he missed it by a long way. So he walked off a short distance and took a running leap at it, only to fall short once more. Again and again he tried, but in vain. Now he sat down and looked at the grapes in disgust. "What a fool I am," he said. "Here I am wearing myself out to get a bunch of sour grapes that are not worth gaping for." And off he walked very, very scornfully. There are many who pretend to despise and belittle that which is beyond their reach. Fury as Arkansas plans to kill EIGHT men in 11 days They are naming it the Governor William J. Le Pétomane Thruway, with tolls set at the low, low price of 10 cents. Would someone go back and get a shit load of dimes?!!! |
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