The Sobering Money Truths I Learned After My Dad's Death It's a short read, but useful, especially for the young. Life is a balancing act, between taking care of today, and taking care of the distant future when you will not be able to work, and take care of today. More below. This is good advice, it never translates quite directly from one country to another, but the essential elements do. I agree wholeheartedly with taking the minimal precaution of putting away a solid amount of income for retirement. I also agree with the need for an emergency fund. I would suggest that one take the time to realize these are in tension, and should be addressed, if possible, before marriage, and family. Not fully, but they should be structured, and on going.
Also, one will be far happier if you talk these issues out before marriage, and make sure your partner is essentially onboard with your ideas, and you theirs. The lesson she most learned was the difference between a gift, and a loan, and when to give, and when to loan. My basic position is, I do not lend money, I gift money, and I only gift money when I want to, without obligation. Years ago as a young associate attorney, I was included in the various associates lunches. Many of the associates would go out to lunch every few weeks together, it was nice to keep connections with associates I had no other dealings with. I had one rule that came into play on these lunches, I do not lend money. Invariably, one of the associates would forget his wallet, and, I would commonly step in, and pay for the meal, but with the caveat, it is not a loan, do not attempt to repay me, it is a gift, but I only gift money when I want. On more than one occasion, one of these young associates would "forget" his wallet a time or two, and seemingly become reliant on me paying, so I wouldn't. Quite a few times these young associates had to either sit, and watch us eat, or make the long "walk of shame" back to the office to get his wallet. Some would wheedle about making it a loan, and how they'd pay me back as soon as we got to the office. Sadly, their remonstrations were to no avail. I didn't loan money only gift, and only when I wanted to, and I did not want to. I do loan money to my kids for specific things, like college. I set up and sign loan papers before they go off to school, then require they send me an email requesting a specific amount of cash, which I then add to the loan amount, and write them a check/transfer money. I reserve the right to write off the loan, or not, my discretion. The loan is zero interest. Free college is never as valuable as something the individual has to work for, and earn. The other part of the agreement is the child cannot take other debts, whether consumer, or student loans without my prior approval. This has worked well. It is essentially the same deal my father made with me. At the end of college I paid off my loans to him with the investments he helped me make in my money. I pretty much paid for my college on my own! I am willing to do the same with things like buying a home as well.
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