​Understatement of the year!

Naked man arrested trying to seduce people with wires on his penis

​More below, with story.

"Jenkins was taken into custody after being thrown to the ground by police while he was resisting arrest and suffered bruising and cuts to his face in the scuffle."

Back in the olden days, I was in a few doozy fights, but not many where anyone exited the fight looking like that, and none which I would have characterized as a scuffle! Holy cow, dude got shellacked! He's got the full double raccoon, a good 8-10 stitches to the right eyebrow, possibly a broken/cracked nose, and some stitches there as well. 

I had my left zygoma fractured, and I believe a crack to the zygomatic process (outer bone of the eye socket), yeah boy was that fun! I also took 20 - 30 stitches to the left eyebrow/zygomatic process. The ER called in a "plastic surgeon" I was all of 16, and they thought it might be a good idea to preserve my beauty. Fat chance, that. But he came in, and did a bang up job. After the nurse administered the anesthetic for the stitches, I reached up and scratched the wound, the 'caine drugs are itchy! Doc blew spat me, and left. I was prepped, he came back in, lectured me, and asked if I could "not touch the wound." Sheepishly, I agreed.

He stitched me up, fastidiously, then fiddled around in my nose for a while. I later found out he was stuffing gauze or something like it into the space under the zygoma to keep it from collapsing. I then, woozily, went home. 

The fun happened a few weeks later. I went into his office, where every woman, and the entire staff were women, was a Trump 11. Really. I had no idea how the doc found all these knockouts with terrific figures, did I say I was only 16? Later in life I made the connection between "plastic surgeon" and gorgeous women. Better living through science.

Anyhoooo, after removing the eyebrow stitches, the doc began fiddling around in my nose again. This time it wasn't just annoying, it hurt, really bad. He then pulled about 14 miles of gauze out of my nose, with me screaming, and howling the entire time. That was enough to make me swear off fighting, but I never went looking for a fight, so it wouldn't have mattered. 

I left the office looking like a Texan with all the hot air let out of him, deflated. I probably lost 10 lbs of sweat while the gauze came out. 

SideBar: I didn't look anything as bad as dude in the photo. I had the single black eye, and a massive cut about 2x the one he got but only the one eye, and no nose. He looks like he really wanted it, and kept goading the cops into hitting him until he was simply was too punch drunk to take any more. 

Photos like this . . . it's like old home week!

While still in high school I would on occasion take the opportunity to even up the black eyes, and even broke the nose a couple of times. But the real fun started after I became a litigation lawyer. I spared Won Hop Kuen Do, boxing, and spared some mixed martial arts. Let me tell you, walking into a contentious deposition in weighing a trim 225 lbs wearing a nicely fitting suit with a split lip, and an obviously broken nose got some looks. More than once, the deposition was delayed because I was causing "fear." I hadn't even opened my mouth.

I no longer practice martial arts, but I think I will go back to boxing mid December. No serious sparing, however, I am getting too old for that.