"Military" grade is just another word for shite with this Russian UAZ Patriot "truck" . . .5/14/2016 Potemkin Villages . . . er, doorstop, good luck Vlad, you are going to need it if you ever decide to stand down the US. Read more below the fold! "Vladimir Putin held a press event at his residence in Sochi on Thursday to show off a brand new military-grade version of a Russian-built UAZ Patriot truck. In the course of the inspection, Putin tried to open the front passenger-side door, but the door wouldn’t budge. The head of the Main Armor Office of the Russian Ministry of Defense, Lieutenant-General Alexander "Baby Huey" Shevchenko, stepped up to help the President. The Russian General pulled on the door handle and it gave away, coming off in his hand. The nervous-looking general then proceeded to demonstrate the other strong points of the new UAZ: the back door still opens, and the vehicle can be fitted with a 12mm machine gun. The Patriot’s designers tried to explain away the incident: the handle did not work because the vehicle was “blocked” since the engine was not running." Yes, indeed, the backdoor still works. Hahahahahahahahaha. Baby Huey is just strong for his size. "It was by no means the first time Putin’s staged attempts at burnishing his country’s resurgent superpower status ran headlong into technical difficulties. Two weeks ago, Putin arrived at the newly-constructed Vostochny Cosmodrome to witness the launch of a Soyuz rocket. What was supposed to be a bold display of Russia’s prowess ended in debacle: the first launch failed to get off the ground due to “technical glitches”, and Putin had to stay in Blagoveshchensk, in Russia’s Far East, a second day for the rocket to finally take off. A year ago a brand new next generation battle tank, the T-14 Armata, stalled in middle of the Red Square during a military parade rehearsal, two days before Putin’s favorite national holiday, Victory Day." Oh brother! "In 2011, Vladimir Putin was invited to test-drive a brand new Russian car, the Lada Granta. Wearing black sunglasses, a sporty bomber jacket, and an unbuttoned shirt, the Russian President struggled with the machine. First, he could not open the trunk. Then, he had to try five times to start the engine before the car finally grudgingly cooperated. Putin afterwards explained to journalists that the new Lada has an electronic gas pedal, which one should not press down on while starting the engine. Three months later, Avtovaz’s CEO Igor Komarov confessed: “After I heard the engine making those sounds, honestly, I fell into a coma. But [Putin] never criticized, he just smiled. And I am very grateful to him for explaining to journalists just what happened. Because I would have never been able to get off so clean, so to speak.'" Who knew that Putin is actually Benny Hill? Or is it the Blues Brothers? Whomever! It's a comedy bit, right?
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